Rules For Riding A Mountain Bike On The Streets Of Lagos.

1.  Nobody gives two dingles about you. Keep your eyes and ears wide open.

2.  Everybody and everything is a threat to your survival; dopey pedestrians, inebriated/high motor bike riders, irascible tricycle drivers (the worst), wankish car drivers, vans, buses, mammoth trucks and three-legged dogs.

3.  Ride aggressively and be prepared to confront errant drivers physically, never back down.

4.  Where possible carry a short length of metal tubing with which you can inflict harm and defend yourself.

5.  When the streets are impassable with cars, pedestrians and other moving hazards become adept at quickly visualizing a virtual path through it all and stick to it. Indecisiveness may result in a nasty and embarrassing asphalt face plant. Be bold. Do not waver.

6.  Pray to your God and offer supplication before you ride out. Ask for a safe and uneventful ride. Offer thanks when you return to your abode in one piece.

7.  Have exhilarating fun. Inclines are the best. Ride hard so that you can RideHard when it really matters *cough cough*.